Stop Snivellin' (lacyunderall) wrote in spikity_movies,
Stop Snivellin'


I'll watch about anything horror-related. I mean, I'll watch the occasional Jason or Freddie film too, but they're for pussies and I acknowledge that. I'm more of a connossieur of the horror genre, preferring ghosts over gore and truly creepy over blatant bloodshed. I do, however, truly appreciate a great zombie movie.

Going with my recent Asian horror obsession, we recently purchased Imprint, directed by Takashi Miike. Let me preface the review by saying that Miike-san needs to be under constant surveillance by a team of mental health professionals, allowed a weekly one hour break in a secure yard, whilst being supervised by trained men with long guns.

As if his other psychotic films, namely, Ichi the Killer, Gozu, and Audition weren't enough weirdness to make me want to self-medicate, he's given us Imprint, the story of a nice old man who abandoned the whore/love of his life when he went back to America and has returned years later to Whore Island to rescue her. After having deserted her in Whore Town. So anyway, he shows up on this haunted island looking for Whorey, only to meet a Scarred Whore who tells him she's dead. There's much gnashing of teeth and wailing as Mr. Nice American hears the story of Whorey's death (in a flashback that's all puppies and kittens, loss of love and tragic suicide by hanging) and then Scarred Whore tells the true story of Whorey's death when Mr. Nice American man beats it out of her. In another flashback. That's a horrific torture scene replete with a scarred midget with a snicked nose, burning joss sticks, needles, ropes, piss, theft, giggling, betrayal and murder. She proceeds to tell two flashback stories of her own childhood. The first touching tale is of poverty and scraping out a living with her mother as a midwife and her father as a man on the edge of death from chronic illness and her persecution as a scarred little girl with inexplicable blue hair. The second (true) story comes as a retrospective containing many abortions, dashing fetuses against rocks, pedophilia, marital rape, drunken parents, matricide, patricide, rape-by-monk, and a random fetus dropping out of a wicker basket onto the river rocks. We learn that Scarred Whore was aborted by her own mother, thrown into the river when her mother realizes that she's a freak and later, we get to meet Scarred Whore's sister, who lives in her head in the shape of a hand with a mouth and eye in the middle of it, that has kleptomania. Sister lives under Scarred Whore's huge blue hair, only popping out when she wants Scarred Whore to steal something shiny for her. Mr. Nice American loses his shit when he meets the sister and tries to shoot Scarred Whore, but a chest shot is just laughed off. So he goes for the Full Monty with a head shot, blows out the back of her skull, she turns into Whorey, who scoops out some brains and shows them to Mr. Nice American. Who goes to prison for murder and hallucinates that he's cradling a basket filled with fetuses that he proceeds to sing to.

I had to watch this short movie in two parts. That was two weeks ago. Again, I'll watch just about anything. This movie nearly wrecked that philosophy.

p.s.: We got a groovy Takashi Miike trading card with the dvd purchase. That rules.
Tags: asian horror, movies, reviews
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